Eddye Replies! (Sort Of)

Dear Lisbeth, Kindly STFU

Before you read this totally imagined reply, make sure you glance at yesterday’s piece:

---

Dear Lisbeth,

WTF? I write a simple note to the NYT and you go off on me.

Not cool, Gen X, not cool.

I already said I’m not a fan of bras, but I just wanted to know before I sway these melons in the wind if this ridiculous society is going to hang me out to dry.

Because we both know they come after women like us — the ones who speak up and get called loud-mouthed. Like quiet-mouthed should be the goal? Fuck no. Quiet-mouthed gets you 3 babies, a rambler in the burbs, no IRA, and some guy named Shane with a drinking problem and a bad temper. No thanks, sister. I got a life I want to live — sometimes with a bra and sometimes without.

We’re similar women, Lisbeth, so support a girl like a bra, why don’t you?

Bad AI art because I know you love it, Lisbeth.

And has it occurred to your generation that you handed us this shitty society that conditions young women to believe that we need approval from everyone — especially men?

Yeah, you can slag it off on the Baby Boomers and the Greatest Generation before them (and everyone before the GG), but here’s the thing, Lisbeth — Gen X saw the bullshit — you all RECOGNIZED IT … and still didn’t stop it. Nope. You folks got all disaffected but then didn’t do enough to disrupt anything. Like you just didn’t care enough to get crazy with America.

And the Millennials coming after you are strapped to the capitalist chain gang trying to pay off college debt and buy houses that no one but tech job lottery winners can afford now.

So now it’s down to Gen Z. You expect us to save America.

And maybe we can save AI art. This needs work.

Sure, we’ll get right on it while we’re trying to save the planet, too. How much multi-tasking are we supposed to do?

And all while not being online 24/7 because the elders keep telling us that our phone obsessions are unhealthy? (And you GAVE us smartphones but now complain that we’re on them!)

You want us online. You need us online.

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom, Lisbeth.

And I would rather you just said THANK YOU and went on your way.

Don’t worry about me worrying about my bra. We’ve got bigger problems to solve — like the holes in democracy. Her shorts are flying in the wind right now, Lisbeth. Let’s work together to fix those holes and then we can discuss undergarments again.

Love,

Eddye, who never owned an underwire to begin with

No, I don’t know wtf AI was doing with the mini-bra below the nip but hey maybe AI is done with bras, too.