"Get Better at Hard Things"

Yes. And no. And you can't make me.

I’m living my best life right now. How about you? (Furry not required.)

“Get Better at Hard Things”

That was the message I saw in white letters on a black hoodie worn by a woman with a severe countenance at the NCAA Women’s Basketball Sweet 16 this weekend.

I wanted to step up and say to her, “Hey, why don’t you get better at hard things?”

Projection Is the Game

Because I knew that what she was telling other people (“Get better at hard things”) was likely what she wanted to tell herself. But I didn’t tell her that because she was about six inches taller than me and I rarely enjoy getting throttled in Section 121 of the Climate Pledge Arena.

And it wasn’t such a terrible goal: get better at hard things.

We’re probably all doing that in some way — or multiple ways — each day. Life is full of challenges and if we are living and breathing and we make it past childhood, we likely have all improved at doing hard things.

Just yesterday, I got better at carrying a drink and loaded chicken nachos back to my seat before a basketball game. (It’s not an easy feat in a large crowd, as you may know.)

But Why Was That Shirt Troublesome?

Back to my point: if we are all getting better each day at hard things, why did this sweatshirt bug me?

I had to think about it for a while.

And then I realized “Get better at hard things” is a different version of the message we’ve also heard as:

• “Harden the fuck up”

• “Suck it up, Buttercup”

• “Stop crying, you big baby.”

Ohhhh. Got it. Another round of the absurd game we’ve been playing since we were little kids — and why? It’s a tiresome tournament that never ends. We can do better.

If this UConn fan can learn to enjoy the Tennessee mascot, then anything really can happen.

There’s Another Way

We can do this:

• If people want to cry and be sad, let them.

• If they want to be soft, let them.

• If they want to suck at some hard things, let them.

And give yourself this grace, too.

Life in battle mode is exhausting and likely not needed, so ease up on yourself — and others — sometimes. Work your path to better but not at the expense of your heart or your soul. That tradeoff is terrible.

Soft and warm and slow have their worth, too.

Let’s work on this goal instead:

Get better at human things.

Imagine the world we could have then!

“A world of dogs and nachos and basketball and women” — according to AI art. I could live in this world. How about you?