How Can We Fix Our Fear Problem?

Because we need to if we all want to live

I keep thinking about Jordan Neely — the erratic-behaving man who was choked to death on the New York City subway this week.

What Happened in NYC

Jordan Neely was hungry and yelling and making threats on the F Train but he hadn’t physically touched anyone when a 24-year-old former Marine put him in a chokehold for 15 min. And then Jordan Neely died, all while people looked on.

It seems so senseless — and indicative of how frightened we are of each other now in America.

Folks are already camping off on this case: some say Neely was a homeless derelict with a history of arrests while others say he was just a hungry man with mental health issues.

Perhaps all of these things are true — and none of them matter anymore.

A man was alive and talking on a subway train — and then he wasn’t. And maybe this whole situation could have ended differently if someone on that train had said, “Hey fella, here’s a sandwich.”

Yellers On the Train Here in Seattle

I keep thinking about Jordan Neely because I ride the Seattle light rail regularly (we call it the Link) and I encounter folks behaving erratically … but nobody puts them in chokeholds and kills them.

Mostly, we just watch when the yelling starts. Sometimes we change seats or move to a different car. It’s hard to tell who is mentally ill or on drugs or just weird — or all three and more.

Sure, it’s unsettling and a little bit scary … but it’s a city. Nobody chooses to live in a city and expects to have the bubble-wrapped safety and anesthetized experience of living in a super-safe suburb or rural town. Bumping up against all types of people is part of the city experience.

Punching and Running

Once, I was on a crowded Link car, heading home from the airport, when a disheveled woman darted on and headed straight for my row, then stopped suddenly like she hit a forcefield — and instead turned and punched a large seated man in the head. It was shocking and scary and the man reared with his hand cocked (he hadn’t seen who hit him — he was just reacting) but before he could do anything, people started yelling: “It’s a woman!” “She’s not right in the head!” “Don’t hit her!”

And the assaulter ran down to the other end of the car.

We rode on. I didn’t know what to do so I called to the man who had been punched, “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

He replied, “I’m okay. I just hope she gets the help she needs.”

And that was that. Nobody put anybody in a headlock. Everybody lived.

We Have to Find Answers

I don’t know the answer to the often scary incidents prompted by the growing drug and mental health crises. More cops bring more problems — and that’s the only response that ever seems to surface. But I hope we figure out some answers soon because the tension keeps ratcheting up in this country.

I’ll ride the Link on Friday afternoon to my gym. There might be somebody yelling. I’ll pick my seat carefully and I’ll make sure I have my pocket-sized tactical flashlight like I always do. It’s not much — but a super-bright light in the eyes can buy you a few seconds to get away while also not killing anybody.

And as the train clacks along the track and we sway through the tunnels, I’ll be thinking about Jordan Neely.