Recently, I was shopping for a flannel shirt for my demon baby when it occurred to me that perhaps I should explain this strange creature.
Because it is close to October and the next 40+ days may see a flurry of demon baby activity on my Instagram and some of you might be like, “Um, Lisbeth? What the hell is going on in your IG Stories?”
Or, as some people fondly message me at this time of year: “What is wrong with you?”
It Started So Innocently
Once upon a time, I was just a normal mom.
Okay, that’s a lie. I was always a bit of a weirdo but back in 2011, I innocently took my kids to the Halloween store in the mall. They begged to buy a zombie baby and I said no.
They wore me down.
So I bought a gross zombie baby with nasty hair and a nasty face and we put her in a plastic bag and started walking across the mall. As we passed one of those big mall fountains, I suddenly took the ugly baby out of the bag and said to one of my kids, “Sit with me. We’re going to pose like a family.”
The weirdest things start so innocently.
Her name was Desmonica. And then we took her for tacos.
She Went to Work
The next day I took her to CrossFit HQ. I just meant to bother one of my co-workers but all of a sudden I started doing handstands with her.
She made friends.
But she liked to hide in the women’s bathroom stall (and that scared the piss out of people).
Truth be told, Desmonica was a bad girl sometimes but I still loved her.
KIDNAPPED! (And a replacement)
Then a few years later (after she frightened many people at work), somebody kidnapped her and she was never seen again.
Sigh.
So I went back to the mall and bought the Demon Baby. He wasn’t the same (all kids are different, right?) but he’s a lot of fun!
And he travels well, although not everyone is thrilled when he shows up.
At one point, he spontaneously erupted into twins.
But the twin ran away.
And Now We Have a New City
When we moved from Santa Cruz, the Demon Baby came with us.
Seattle’s so weird that this baby might feel at home. We’ll find out this weekend. I think it’s time to ride the ferry! 😀
That is a nifty way to keep the seat next to you open ;-)