Just Bring the Whole Mess
It's all you. A fabulous, lovable mess.
I’m not doing it this year.
For about the last ten years, I’ve created a year-end “Things I Want to Leave Behind” list (that I burn) and I also write a short list of that which I want to bring forth into the new year.
And I’m done with all of it.
At least for this year. I don’t feel the need to review or burn pieces of paper at midnight. Huh? What is happening? Should someone call a medical professional or a barbell whisperer? Maybe a cute bartender?
No Lisbeth Left Behind
I guess I’m just no longer interested in leaving any part of me behind.
Not one iota.
Because everything in me — good and bad — is me. And always will be.
I can’t get rid of the parts of me I don’t like … but I can learn to accept them and deal with them. And, kinda shockingly to me, I think I’m okay with that. It only took 58 years but hey I’m not always a quick learner.
What Does This Mean?
Does this mean I’ve given up on improving? Or that I’ve abandoned burning things while I sip bourbon?
Fuck no.
I’m working on myself every day … and I won’t be stopping. I like finding my limits. I like testing them. And I have learned to sort of enjoy failing because I always learn something. It’s like a big gift sitting in the middle of a pile of pain — weird, but a gift nonetheless. (I bet you’ve learned this, too.)
I have plans and goals for this year — physical, mental, and emotional. (And I hope you do, too!) Maybe not a return to triathlons… this year. But I do have my eye on possibly entering triathlons again the year I turn 60!
Rest assured this new year will see lots of lifting, a bunch of swimming, and even some metcons and yoga. (Not together. But only because I have not yet figured out the right ratios. And I get kicked out of every yoga class where I yell, “3-2-1-DOWNWARD DOG!” or make comments about somebody’s shitty savasana pose.)
But I have zero plans to abandon myself or any part of me. Not this year. And not ever again.
I’m taking all of me into the wild ride of 2024. Without apology. Without explanation. Without bitterness or regret.
Who I’ve become is someone I can be proud of — and someone I can look in the mirror. Someone I love. It took me a long time to say that and really mean it — and I’m not letting go now.
All of me is moving into 2024. And I hope all of you is coming, too.
P.S. This newsletter is going to see a few changes (more on that tomorrow) but I think you’re going to like those changes. It’s time to grow again so come grow with me!
Bonus: A Best Of Stuff List
I’ll go first. (Share yours in comments?)
Best book that I read this year: The Swimmers by Julie Otsuka. I’m still thinking about this novel six months later.
Best book that I listened to: Bottoms Up and the Devil Laughs by Kerry Howley. Real and serious while also witty, this one makes you think. Hit your library audio app and get listening.
Show I unexpectedly fell in love with: “Life Below Zero”, Seasons 1-4, about folks living in the Alaskan bush. I never thought people chopping wood and fishing could be this interesting but wow I got addicted to Sue, Agnes, Chip, and even that weirdo Glenn.
Substack newsletters I enjoyed the most:
Happy New Year! I’ve named this year Audacious. I’ve acquired a giant 4Runner while my friends are buying Teslas, and I’m going to learn to drive it in the backcountry. I’m going to try backpacking in a tent (last year was huts). I haven’t really planned a lot, because I want to be available when stuff shows up. Cheers! 🍺 🧀 🥨 Here’s to 58! I share your gift of fashion, by the way.
Happy New Year! Looking forward to whatever you bring to the newsletter.