Outgrowing Is Actually a Good Sign
Lean into the curve. You can crush this.
Authenticity Statement: Today’s newsletter was written by a human being: me. (Why is this statement here? Because in today’s AI world, transparency is important.)
A part of me wishes that I never outgrew anything.
I imagine that I could be happy wearing the same clothes, eating the same food, having the same friends, and weighing the same pounds every day for years and years and years. It would be so comforting and easy and …
BORING.
Yeah, I’d lose my flippin’ mind.
I know that. (We all know that.)
We Need Growth
As much as humans long for consistency (we are like dogs in loving a good routine), we also need new situations and experiences to grow.
Learning and adapting to new situations causes changes in our brains — and that’s good for us! (Here’s a short and cool read about that process.)
Plus you get hit with dopamine, aka brain meth. And that stuff is fabulous.
Yet growth is SOOOOO hard.
It’s messy and painful like being stuck in an elevator with Marco Rubio. (Yeah, you’re not out of my crosshairs yet, Little Marco.) Maybe worse.
Growing hurts and you might be like “Fuck this. I already have a crumbling democracy to deal with! I don’t have time for this bullshit growth nonsense, too!”
(I feel you.)
But even though growth hurts, it might be the best thing since Brookies or deadlifts.
I know that’s a big claim (founding member of the Brookie Fan Club here) and that maybe none of this is going to save our society today but it could save you — and that’s the very best start to saving us all.
Boom, Here It Is
And when growth comes knocking, you know it.
You feel it.
One thing itches. Then another.
Soon there’s a bump or a welt. Things stop fitting — not necessarily your clothes (although that may happen) but places or people or ideas. Your job. Your house. Your life. Inertia gets uncomfortable. Harder to handle. Everything seems just not right and you complain and then … gulp.
You realize it’s here again.
The growth spurt. (And who the heck ever thought you could have growth spurts after menopause but hey, whatever, life is really fucking weird.)
Ugh for growth spurts.
And
YAY!
You.are.growing.
You are becoming a slightly different person. A newer version of you.
Wow.
How glorious that we can grow after some would consider us grown. Really. That’s cool stuff.
So, when the vague ghosts of discontent visit you in the night (or in the middle of your workday 🫣), don’t get all discombobulated. This is how life works. No need to despair. Instead …
Rejoice!
This is hard but good news. You have grown as a person. This is an accomplishment —and you need a new garden to grow in.
Now you must go find it.
Cool Quote of the Week: “How thrilling it feels to get rid of something that does not fit your story.” — Roger Rosenblatt, Unless It Moves the Human Heart
Bonus Read:
12 Lessons I've Learned the Hard Way
You were never too much.
Not for anyone or anything or any place. They just weren’t ready for you.