The Superpower I Never Wanted

It kept me safe ... but at what cost?

When I was a kid, lesbians were invisible.

There wasn’t one adult or even a teenager to say, “Hey, kid, whatever you’re feeling? It’s okay to feel that way.”

But there were plenty of people to tell me if I was gay, I’d burn in hell.

And when burning in hell seems like a very real thing to you, a cloak of invisibility feels pretty damn safe.

And hiding becomes second nature.

You learn to push everything down or box it up. No time for that. You like having friends and family — and love. If you’re different, they’ll take the love away. And you don’t know how you’ll survive then.

You think now about how life could have been if just one person had said that it was okay to feel nothing for him and something for her.

But that never happened. Because lesbians were invisible and so you knew it wasn’t safe to show yourself.

I didn’t come out until I was 42.

Today is Lesbian Visibility Day — which seems more important this year than at any time in the past 10 years, because some folks are trying to make us invisible again.

Let’s not let that happen.

Here’s to everyone being visible — and being exactly who they want to be.

I’ll never be invisible again.

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“Closets are for hangers. Winners use the door.” — Bruce Springsteen, “Rosalita”